A properly prepared hot wing will be hot enough to get your attention without causing permanent damage to the uninitiated. These wings fall squarely into that range.
Start out with about 6-8 pounds of wings. If you prefer, cut them into separate pieces – it's up to you whether or not to keep the tips (hint: when you run out of the rest of the wings, you'll be glad you did).
Deep-fry the wings in hot vegetable oil heated to 350 degrees. They'll float when they're done. Try to get them out before they're TOO brown, or they won't soak up enough sauce. Remember, the wings are there primarily as a carrier vehicle for the sauce – you don't want to limit their sponge-like abilities.
While you're in the process of frying the wings (and thereby covering most of your kitchen in a fine layer of vegetable oil), start the process of cooking the sauce (which is what the wings are REALLY all about).
Chop up two large habanero peppers, the finer the better – removing the seeds as you go. The habanero is the world's hottest chili pepper, with approximately 100 times the heat of a jalapeno pepper – so be VERY careful. You'll want to make sure there is plenty of fresh air available, since the aroma wafting off a freshly cut pile of habanero pepper would make dandy tear gas. After you're done, do yourself a favor and scrub your hands thoroughly – pretend you're one of the surgeons on 'ER' getting ready for an emergency appendectomy or you may regret it next time you rub your eyes or use the rest room.
In a medium saucepan, melt ¼ pound of butter on low heat (but don't let it brown). Toss in the habanero pieces and a tablespoon of finely chopped garlic (feel free to use the pre-prepared garlic – the garlic will get a bit lost in the other flavors). Heat this dangerous concoction on low heat for as long as possible while you cook your wings. The longer you cook it down, the more the habanero flavor will be imparted to the rest of the sauce, and the less dangerous the habanero bits will become. Continue to stir the sauce as it cooks as often as possible.
As the wings are finishing up, add 2 tablespoons of honey, 4 ounces of white vinegar, and two 8 ounce bottles of Frank's (aka Durkees) hot sauce. Add the juice of one lemon. Melt another ½ pound of butter into this sauce on low heat. Simmer the sauce as long as possible.
Once all the wings are fried, pour the sauce over the wings, covering them thoroughly. The more you can work the sauce through the wings, and the longer you can leave the wings in the sauce, the better they'll taste. When you can't take it any longer, warm 'em up and dig in. For those folks who normally don't eat very much spicy food, the wings will reward them with a burst of taste followed by a long, slow burn. But all but the wimpiest will simply make a funny face for a few seconds, look thoughtfully at the rest of the wings, and dig back in. For those truly sick folks who eat food from containers with nuclear fallout labels (like me), the wings will still let you know they're rightly called "hot" wings. Of course it's always possible to add more habanero peppers to the recipe as long as no innocent bystanders are injured as a result.
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